


Claire

by daretogobeyondtheunknown



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: F/F, Original Character - Claire
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-08-15
Updated: 2017-12-17
Packaged: 2019-01-30 05:29:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 6,858
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12647064
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/daretogobeyondtheunknown/pseuds/daretogobeyondtheunknown
Summary: Please note, this is a re-posting of a piece I have done. You may find my original piece over on my blog: http://daretogobeyondtheunknown.tumblr.com/Thank you to xavacid for your hard work on originally bringing my work to this platform, you are incredible.





	1. claire: a series exposition

**Author's Note:**

  * For [xavacid](https://archiveofourown.org/users/xavacid/gifts).

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Please note, this is a re-posting of a piece I have done. You may find my original piece over on my blog: http://daretogobeyondtheunknown.tumblr.com/
> 
> Thank you to xavacid for your hard work on originally bringing my work to this platform, you are incredible.

Claire, is a series that I have been working on that amalgamates my perception of the _Supergirl_ television series with my imagination.  

The first season ended with the crash landing of a pod and the question: who lie within? With an unwritten second season at the time and a creative curiosity, Claire was born.  

Superheroes are not my forte. I will never pretend they are. But after some reading, I gravitated towards a character by the name of  _Power Girl_. She was -  _is_ \- the Supergirl of an alternative universe, a concept touched upon with the appearance of the Flash. 

If I designed an idea around Power Girl - a thirteen year old Kara biologically identical but with the traits Power Girl was said to have: a more mature, level headed character with a more aggressive fighting style - what kind of world could I create?

The characters of Kara - the twenty-five year old who we saw developed in the television series and the thirteen year old who I imagined had just escaped twenty-four years of being suspended in the Phantom Zone - needed to have differentiation: no different than any relationship or entity that exists. And so, I created a name, an identity: Claire. 

By using the same - albeit different - character, it is bound to create confusion  _somewhere_. And so I create this, a small glimpse into an idea, in a hopes that those who read the series will have another lens with which to view it. 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> claire; derived from the Latin adjective ‘clarus’ meaning bright or clear

“ _Alexandra Danvers look I am flying!_ ”

Heart leaping from her chest, Alex wondered if this was how her parents felt years ago when Alex and Kara had snuck out for a midnight fly. “ _Claire_ ,” Alex was going to kill Kara for rushing off to save Cat’s new assistant from certain doom. Maybe she’d kill Cat’s new assistant first - after she caught the exuberant Kryptonian currently corkscrewing across the sky, “ _Claire, get down here right now!_ ”

Immediately Claire settled, dropping softly to the earth, accepting of Alex’s crushing embrace and frantic scans for injuries.

“ _Claire Zor-el do not do that again, I-_ ” Alex choked, holding the young Kryptonian at arms length. Claire was so very much Kara - from the way she spoke to her love of pot stickers and sticky buns - and yet Alex couldn’t help but see herself - the weighted seriousness, the unspoken loyalty.

Dropping to one knee, Alex caught Claire’s downcast gaze, “ _Hey, I shouldn’t have yelled Claire, I’m sorry._ ” Offering a small smile, Alex wiped the pads of her thumbs across the confusion and uncertainty that marred Claire’s features, “ _Do you understand why it is not safe to fly here?_ ”

Claire shook her head but waited patiently, listening to Alex in a way Claire refused to listen to anyone; including Kara.

“ _In this world, not everyone is kind. Some will try to hurt you. Others will want to take you away. Kara flies as Supergirl, but not Kara. It keeps who she is - her identity - safe. Do you understand, Claire?_ ” Relief flooded Alex at the slight bob, her arms opening wide, “ _Good. I’m sorry I yelled._ ” Alex never wanted to be that; someone who reacted; who unloaded before asking; to perpetuate the overwhelming guilt she felt from her mother, always failing to meet expectations.

By the way Claire melted into her arms, uttering Kryptonian promises Alex doesn’t quite understand, she hoped they could be different. If they could keep Claire - if she could keep Claire.


	3. Chapter 3

_“Here. They helped. Everything was just so- . Alex’s dad made them for me.”_

Kara blinked. The dark frames atop the bridge of her nose were cool. It dampened everything Kara could suddenly see yet left the thousands of sounds buzzing and screaming in her ears.

_“Focus on one sound.”_

Neck snapping up, Kara noticed for the first time a woman leaning so casually - by Kryptonian standards - against the adjacent wall. Her hair was shorter than anything Kara had ever seen worn by the female of her species and the way her tongue wrapped around the sounds of her mother tongue were an equal mixture of familiar and foreign.

“Oh!” Kara watched her older other self snapping her fingers; far too deafening and all too intrusive. “Oh gosh,  _I’m sorry, I forgot- I just-_ ”

There were so many sounds and no matter how hard the heels of her palms pressed to her ears, Kara couldn’t seem to make any of them go away. “ _Pick one and focus._ ” The voice was warm - comforting. Like the arms of her mother after a particularly bad dream. “ _Kara said she used to listen to the blood running through my veins and the beat of my heart._ ”

Desperate, Kara reached out, the pads of her fingers finding the thrum beneath pallid skin with ease; powerful, steady. When this woman came to kneel before her, Kara did not know. What she did know was how quiet the room was quickly becoming.

The soft fingers brushing through the hair that clung to her brow felt so familiar that it brought tears to Kara’s eyes. Because no one she knew - nothing truly familiar - was left. Nothing. She was alone. So very, very alone.

And yet, the way Kara could isolate this short haired woman’s heart beat - and the beat of her other self - the way their breathes fell in sync, felt a little too much like it could become home.


	4. Chapter 4

It felt uncomfortable. The mattress was firm - unyielding to her form - and the sheets too thin, too rough. **  
**

“ _Can’t sleep_?” Alex asked from the entrance of the room.

Much like the first time they had met, Claire noticed the way the woman leaned into the frame, casual and yet attentive.

“ _This bed makes me uncomfortable,_ ” Claire responded honestly. It made no sense to lie - it did nothing to alleviate her discomfort.

“Scooch  _over_.”

The word held no meaning to Claire and her brow creased in confusion. Only when Alex made a simple back and forth motion with her hands, did Claire think to move, shuffling herself over to one side of the bed.

“ _Kara used to hate the beds too._ ” Alex claimed as she settled in beside Claire, maintaining a respectable distance between them. “ _I used to find her tucked under the table or out in the grass._ ”

Grass did not, or rather had not, existed on Krypton. Vegetation belong to select sectors and private gardens but never as far as the eye could see or in patches called lawns. Its very existence fascinated Claire and with this new found knowledge, Claire wondered if she shouldn’t do the same. There was a small patch nearby, she had seen it from the window. “ _May I…_ ” Claire trailed off, unsure if it would be appropriate to ask.

“ _Sleep in the grass?_ ” Alex guessed, turning onto her side so Claire could see her face fully. Her expression looked contorted, “ _Not here. People don’t like that here._ ”

“ _Do humans not like comfort, Alexandra Danvers?_ ” It baffled Claire the lengths which Earth seemed determine to torture itself.

“ _No, they do. Just not to the same degree Krypton would. Kara used to ask why we couldn’t be more forward._ ”

Claire had echoed the sentiment - in mind - several times since her arrival. Earth seemed so focused on the way it appeared that it lost its ability to connect; to communicate; to develop. “ _If it is not appropriate to seek comfort in this way, what might you suggest?_ ” Trapping her lower lip between her teeth, Claire ruminated, “ _Sleep is not critical. I might pass the time in other ways, perhaps. I saw bound covers. I believed you called them books?_ ”

Chuckling, Alex opened her arms, gesturing Claire closer, “ _Sleep might not be critical but that never stopped Kara from growing skittish or hyper aware_.”

At a still respectable distance, Claire paused, unsure what came next. The unasked question was answered when the open arms wrapped around her shoulders, drawing her in. The stiffness ingrained through years of edict took only a moment to fade, surprising Claire.

Allowing her head to rest against the rough material of the human’s chest, Claire heard -  _felt_ \- each beat. There was the steady intake and exhale. The whoosh of blood. The hum of neural impulses.

Claire couldn’t pinpoint the exact moment when she fell asleep, only the security and comfort she felt. Perhaps at some point, Claire had heard another, one that added yet another layer of warmth and tranquility that Claire knew could be only fleeting at best.

Waking in the protective hold of not one but two pairs of arms enthralled Claire and the feeling of home swelled tenfold in her chest. It reminded her of the rarest of moments - after only the extremest of terrors - when she was granted permission to adjoin her parents. There was no greater comfort than being cocooned by their love and warmth.

Except perhaps this.


	5. Chapter IV

“Kara 2.0. That’s just,” Winn stared in awe, “Amazing.” **  
**

James was less than impressed. “So she just what, landed in the wrong place?” His arms remained cross, wary of the pseudo-Kara that had attached herself to Alex’s side.

Wonder mixed with terror settled in the pit of Kara’s  stomach, curious and painful all at once. This  _her_ was really her; from the way she spoke to the very molecular blueprint that they were made of. And yet, part of Kara felt as though something was fundamentally  _different_. It lingered just outside of reach, frustratingly close and yet still too far.

“Kara?”

“Huh?” “ _Yes_?”

The room fell silent; some in awe, others in confusion.

“Perhaps, for the time being, it would be best to use another name.” J’onn glanced between the Kara he had come to know and the much younger version.

“Oh! Like in-” Winn continued to speak but the words failed to register; like a foreign language, all sound, no meaning.

Different names made sense. Yet being Kara… Becoming Kara Danvers had stripped Kara of one of the most fundamental parts of who she was; who she knew herself to be. The House of El was a proud, noble house and its very name carried with it an understanding of the responsibility its members would always face. Zor-el had been stripped from her and Kara was the only thing left that was truly hers.

“Sir, it isn’t that simple.” Alex’s voice was the calm that settled Kara in a way no human administered drug could. No matter how much remained unspoken, Alex would always be the calm to Kara’s life. “It’s more than just a name.”

“Then what might you recommend, Agent Danvers?”

“Give me some time.” It was a simple request and yet only Kara and J’onn seemed to understand. No one had had to lose  _everything_ the way they had. To assume identities they weren’t. To conform to a norm that would never quite feel right.

Hands on hips, J’onn as Hank Henshaw nodded, “You have 24 hours. After that, I will decide.” Gaze drifting from Alex to Kara, J’onn seemed to take caution with his next words, “And I will leave this new visitor to your care, Supergirl. You have the assistance of the D.E.O. but perhaps it would be best for Earth’s newest visitor to be with someone more…. Familiar.”

-

“ _I wish to keep my name, Alexandra Danvers_.”

“ _Alex_ ,” she amended. It was a reflexive response to a name Alex had long despised. “ _I understand. Names on Krypton were very important, right?_ ”

Shoulders drawn, chin high, the young Kara nodded, “ _That is correct, Alexan- Alex._ ” Scrunching her brow, confusion seemed to ooze from the Kryptonian, “ _Are they not here? Is this why you do not wish to be called by your own?_ ”

It was that moment when Kara - Supergirl - chose to join. Out of habit, Kara nestled into the couch cushion adjacent Alex, “ _One’s name is important on Earth. Like a stationing index in the matrix_.”

If Alex hadn’t had this conversation nearly a decade ago, confusion would have surely settled on her features. But they had. A decade ago.

“ _Often, names are shortened as a sign of affection - given by close friends, family_.”

“ _But you do not like the name Alexandra_.”

Alex winced. Kara had once said those same words. Unintentionally, they had cut like a knife. If Alex was honest, they still stung.

“ _You’re right, I don’t_ ,” Alex acquiesced knowing full well she held the rapt attention of both Kryptonian’s present: one in concern the other in curiosity. “ _When I was younger than you, Alexandra was used to communicate disappointment, failure and fault. My dad was the first one to call me Alex. I was his little Alex._ ”

Never once had Alex imagined she would be having this conversation again. With an alternative version of the first person she’d ever had it with no less. She had also never imagined the tiny warm arm that slipped around her shoulder and across the back of her neck that drew her into an awkward three way hug.

It was different than when Kara had first dropped from the sky into her life. 

It  felt a little like the surge of protectiveness Alex eventually felt for her new alien friend. But mostly, it felt maternal.

Wrapping her arm around the young Kryptonian’s back, Alex sighed. With Kara on her right and this young Kara in her lap, Alex couldn’t stop the riptide of emotions, the feeling of unity and of family. Like this was hers and no one could hurt them.

“ _Will you help me choose a wise name?_ ”


	6. Chapter V

_“I do not accept.”_

“Oh, come on! Claire!” Kara exclaimed as she threw her arms up in defeat. The articles of clothing she had been holding sailed through the air, scattering somewhere behind her, “ _For Rao’s sake_ \- Claire, we don’t have time for this!”

It had been weeks, if not months since Kara had arrived on time to CatCo. Between juggling the responsibilities of protecting National City, running to the beck and call of Cat Grant, actually holding a full time position at CatCo and tending to Claire, Kara was floundering. It was overwhelming and wearing from all angles and all Kara had wanted was to arrive on time maybe even early -  _just once_.

Kara startled as her phone rang, Alex’s voice echoing through the fragile speaker, “Alex,  _thank Rao!_  Tell her to listen to me. She’s me for Rao sake, she should listen to me!” The whining and pout might have been a bit over the top but it wasn’t like Alex could actually see the downward turn of her lips or the light stomp.

“Put her on.”

Motioning to Claire with the phone, Kara whispered soft enough that Alex would not hear, “ _You can’t call her your future bonded!_ ”

Accepting the proffered object, Claire rolled her eyes. She couldn’t understand why Kara expected her to know all these nuances in such a short length of time. Kara, having made her dwellings on Earth for twelve years, still appeared to be learning them.

But Claire felt an odd yearning to appease this woman - who was in some strange way her - and to appease her Earthly sister - who apparently was not her bonded. Claire had learned that the hard way. And yet, to call her Alex felt unsatisfactory, as though it was not enough.

Rolling several possibilities over her tongue, Claire paused. The ideas tumbled about until one seemed to catch in the swell of her chest, bringing with it a sting to the corners of her eyes, “ _My earnest wishes this morning, Mother,_ ”

“M-m-other?” “ _Mo- Claire!_ ” Both women intoned at once; one groaning, the other virtually speechless.

Claire nodded hesitantly.

It had been her observation that Eliza had been a mother to Kara, accepting the role and responsibility twelve years ago. On Krypton, mother had denoted someone who would shelter and guide; offer understanding and forgiveness; reassurance and insight. Claire had watched the interactions of a young child and her mother on this Earth: the adoration, the respect, the desire to exceed expectation.

The House of El was no more. The politics and structure Claire had spent years studying were no longer relevant and in her short time on Earth, Claire had taken to observing the ways of her new environment. She saw the flexibility in how order and structure could unfold. Claire saw how it could be strict and stringent - much like on Krypton, where blood bonded all - or loose and pliable - a notion with emotional rootings.

Emotionally, Claire knew the Alexandra Danvers of this planet was not the mother she had lost on Krypton. Yet Claire believed she was quintessential to the path she must walk on Earth. This Alex, was bonded to her other self in a way that none on this Earth could ever comprehend; two halves of one House whose bonding existed light years apart and had been set into motion by the light of Rao’s last breath on Krypton.

Watching as Kara marched back and forth, wearing a visible trail in the soft area carpet, Claire smiled widely for the first time since arriving to Earth.

Amidst the gaping holes that smattered her heart - with the loss of her dearest family and entire planet still a fresh ache - Kara Zor-el had found a mending glue. To become Claire hopefully Danvers whose sensible mother figure somehow managed to be bound to her not so sensible but kind, gullible alternative self

At first, Claire had been upset and without purpose. She had yearned to return to her people, to have gone with them into the light of Rao. It would have been so very much simpler. Instead, she had been trapped in the Phantom Zone, set off course and brought to an Earth she had not been destined for. It had felt cruel; a sick form of torment Rao had placed upon her.

But maybe, just maybe, Rao hadn’t forgotten her, hadn’t sought to torment her. Maybe for every hole Rao had made, they would make amends with this Kara and Alex.  


	7. Chapter VI

****It was too much. The way everything seemed to collapse and collide like a violent riptide, bubbling and frothing and violent. It mixed with the blood-curdling cries, last breathes and the stench of death.

“ _Claire_!”

Claire could hear  _everything_ and it hurt  _everywhere_.

“ _Claire_!”

The pressure behind her eyes built and the glasses failed to dull the pain. The breathing techniques escaped her - her breaths coming in short, sputtering gasps, an invisible force heavy on her chest - and no matter how hard she tried, Claire could not make out the beat of Alex or Kara’s heart.

She was alone. All over again.

Blue, red and gold whizzed by, shock waves emanating as it collided with the lumbering figure. There were voices followed by a barrage of bullets and commands.

For a moment Claire heard it - strong and reassuring - and then it was erratic, almost faint. A cry so full of anguish followed. It felt like dying while living, being flayed open without anesthesia, losing Krypton again and again and again.

“No!”

There was a warmth trickling down her cheek, thicker than water and smelling of iron. Her eyes burned, the vision cloudy and out of focus. It was blue and red and gold and black.

“Alex!”

A sinking feeling settled in her gut and suddenly it was like she was underwater and the only thing Claire could hear clearly were Kara’s heart breaking sobs and the too faint beat of Alex’s heart.


	8. Chapter VII

“ _Is it common for Houses to live in separate dwellings on this planet?_ ” Claire asked earnestly, wandering from Kara’s room into the living room.

Cocking her head, Kara stared curiously at the younger version of herself, “ _What do you mean?”_ Kara was still trying to wrap her head around other Universe Kara, often forgetting that Kara –herself, not really herself –mini her? had never experienced Earth the way she had.

“ _Have you forgotten our customs? The acceptance of any member into a House, on Krypton, is marked by bonding ceremonies and assimilation. Was the House of Danvers not of sufficient nobility and strength?”_ Eyeing Kara up and down, the younger Kryptonian huffed, _“That seems unlikely. I wish to reside with my future bonded. She is of great intellect, strength and heart.”_

Like a fish out of water, Kara gaped, “ _We– she– I- Earth doesn’t_ -“ Kara’s face felt overwhelmingly flush, her arms flailing about wildly, “ _It’s different_!” The pitch was painfully high.

It was in that moment that Alex entered Kara’s apartment, shuffling in with several bags of take out in hand, oblivious to the eyes upon her, “I think they gave me extra pot stickers.”

“Alex!” Kara squeaked, rushing to stand behind Alex, motioning frantically to her younger self across the room. No words slipped past her lips though and the motioning was nothing shy of puzzling.

“Hi to you too?” asked Alex hesitantly, setting the plastic bags on the island. Kara’s closeness and sudden inability to compose words left Alex silently asking Claire for the punch line it seemed she had missed. What Alex didn’t see was Kara’s apparent telepathy to her younger self.

“ _It seems I must acknowledge my swift decline in intellect if I remain on this planet,_ ” Claire groused, making a beeline for the tiny white bags and the pleasant smell that wafted from within.

“Okay…. She has your appetite,” tsked Alex, shooing away the prying hands of both Kara’s.

Pot stickers were apparently the Kryponian equivalent of catnip and Alex wondered if Clarke would react the same. “Hey!” Alex yelped as Kara managed to snag a pot sticker.


	9. Chapter VIII

The sobs wouldn’t stop.

Her chest heaved and she hiccuped and Claire just couldn’t seem to  _breathe_. The walls of her stomach twisted and constricted. There were no contents left save the stinging bile that burned at the back of her throat.

Claire wished it would just stop.

“ _Hey_.”

The warm body that slipped behind her trembling frame, meant to comfort, only intensified the bubbling well of emotion in her chest tenfold.

“ _Claire_ —“

Curling inward, Claire willed her hearing to focus on the steady heartbeat against her back and the faint, unsteady stutter too far away.

It was all her fault. 

If she had just learned to control the way it all just  _was_  – how it felt against her skin, echoed in the shell of her ears, invaded her very sight – if she had just  _learned_  none of this would have happened.

“ _She’s gonna be okay_.” There was a quiver in Kara’s voice and her body shook like a leaf in the wind.

Claire believed none of it.

“ _Alex is gonna be okay_.”

They were words meant to soothe and to assure, but through the tremors of her body and the chaos of her mind, Claire realized Kara needed them. Needed them perhaps more than Claire ever could.

Rolling over, Claire tucked herself under Kara’s chin. The  _lub dub_ echoed reassuringly against her ear and Claire clung to Kara in the way she could not with anyone else.

For hours they remained liked that – an interwoven mess of limbs and tears.


	10. Chapter IX

There was nothing quite like it on Krypton.

All the children on Earth spoke of it, obsessed over it, until it eventually bled into a curriculum Claire had already deemed mundane.

The teacher had insisted it be made on thick obscenely coloured card stock and it was an atrocity not even leaded glasses could shield. Glitter and glue littered the tables of her classmates. Nothing about it impressed Claire, least of all when it stuck to her pale blue card stock.

Still blank.

“Claire, honey, is something wrong?”

The tone was all soft, childish, and it felt every part demeaning. Claire knew that was not the intention. But on Krypton she had taken the Earthenly equivalent of advanced astrophysics and was learning the mechanisms by which the birthing matrix operated.

She was not the child Earth seemed apt to treat in the softest of ways, coddled into adulthood.

“No.”

In all honesty, nothing was wrong. Claire simply saw no value in participating. She was not of this world and she found its customs arbitrary, unfit for the trajectory she would one day face.

“Then why is your card empty, dear? If you need help-”

“What is the purpose of this?”

Grimace pressed into her brow, Claire motioned to the pale blue card stock and the assortment of common crafting supplies. Stuck to the corner of her card was an orange pipe cleaner Claire certainly had not put there.

“Claire, we’re making Mother’s day cards.”

It was the same, annoyingly repetitive, response that had not magically morphed into meaning. If she knew the purpose of a card, presented on an apparent day called “Mother’s Day”, Claire would not ask. But she did not and the annoying upward curl of her teacher’s lips chagrined Claire all the more.

“Why must one make their mother a card? Least of all one that looks like an atrocity, born of the rare defect in the birthing matrix?”

The owlish regard spoke little and the awkward laughter felt forced.

“In America, we make cards, dear. I’m sure your Mother will appreciate the sentiment.”

It took all the restraint Claire possessed to not inform her teacher, ill fit for the instruction and molding of young minds, that Krypton had ended in catastrophe and her mother no longer existed.

“I still think this is stupid.”

* * *

“How was school?”

Claire sat in the passenger seat with a huff.

“Catastrophic. I feel my potential squandered. This glitter is terrible.”

After the card debacle, the day had only seemed to drag on, fraught with minor mathematical equations and limited explanations of space. If Claire were charged with the instruction of her fellow students, Earth would surely be a better place. It was appalling, the substandard bar set by the human race.

Soft laughter echoed through the car, calming and capable of stilling the thoughts Claire had let run rampant.

“Don’t tell Kara, she loves glitter. Adores it actually. I can remember the time I found them on the underside of my surfboard. I still don’t know how; I had just come in from a surf!”

Claire hummed, the dynamic unclear to her as well. But then again, the glitter seemed infectious and easily spread. An epidemic of extreme proportions.

“But that isn’t it, is it? Claire?”

Part of Claire detested it. How Alex held the capacity to see through her lies and sense her discomforts. It reminded Claire too much of her mother - how her features would soften and how she always just seemed to know.

Claire swallowed back the lump of emotions that clung to her throat, thick and suffocating.

“May we speak on it later?”

It was impossible to miss the concerned look, but Claire drew comfort from the warm hand upon her own and the gentle squeeze.

“Of course.”

* * *

“Claire!”

Rolling her eyes, Claire accepted the exuberant hug with painted reluctance.

It still felt odd to be wrapped in the embrace of an alter dimensional self.

On numerous occasions, Claire caught herself fixated on the very plausibility of their coexistence. If it wasn’t for the biological confirmation using Kryptonian technologies and near mirror image, Claire would have claimed it an improbability, opting for distance over familiarity.

They were different; down to some of their most basic modus operandi. And yet, at times, Claire observed the markings of her mother, seemingly imprinted into their molecular structure.

“Claire?”

Snapping her attention to the bodies present, Claire sighed.

“I must apologize. I was not attentive to your words. I just-,”

The smears of glitter and orange pipe cleaner on pale blue cardstock burned like kryptonite particulates, an unintentional exposure Claire never wished to repeat. But unlike the full body paralysis the particulate exposure had incurred, this gripped at her chest, swelled in her stomach and made her footing feel impossibly rooted. This made her yearn for home.

Whether it was the home of her mother’s arms or the home of Alex and Kara’s, Claire no longer knew.

“I-,”

Extracting the unintentionally glitter covered confection, Claire huffed. It was that or weep and Claire was most certainly done weeping. Children wept and Claire was no longer a child. Or so her father had told her.

“I do not understand this world and most of its customs. Today, I spent the most horrific of times covered in this white tacky substance, pestered by long fluffy impractical pipes and dusted in the most toxic haze of sparkling colours that serve no true purpose.”

It ached, to hold the tender gazes, patient and understanding where Claire was not, gripped by anger and childlike petulance. But Claire refused to cower, to back down. No matter how awful it felt, burrowed deep into the confines of her chest and unseeingly suffocating on her lungs.

“It was belittling and of no true purpose to formulate a gift for a mother I no longer possess.”

Through the unwanted moisture gathering in her eyes, Claire noted the restrained stance Kara held, undoubtedly willing her body not to crush Claire in the most reassuring of embraces, to coo away her fears and kiss away her tears. Alex appeared to be faring no better.

“As I began though, I imagined mother and her comforting embrace. And then I imagined you - Alexandra Danvers of Earth and Kara Danvers formerly of Krypton - and I knew. While I may have lost my mother, I gained in surrogate two. So here.”

Claire hadn’t meant to shove the card, crumbled by the careless manner she had stowed it in her bag. But she did and with baited breath, she waited.

The crushing embraces, ladened with tears and cooing reassurances, swelled in her chest, ballooning in an oddly comforting way. It made Claire feel loved, cared for in a world where she had lost so very much.

As Claire listened, Kara reciting the contents of the card, it felt fitting. Because on Earth, alternative dimensional selves aside, Alex and Kara… Claire believed them worthy of the words for a mother, recited before Rao when gifted with a child. A high Kryptonian honour.

“I swear by Rao the light and life, by Vohc-The-Builder, by Flamebird, by Nightwing, and by all the gods and goddesses, making them my witnesses, that I will carry out, according to my ability and judgement, this oath and this indenture-,”


	11. Chapter 11

Kal El and Lois were in town.

When she had first arrived, Kal El had flown to National City to extend his welcome. He looked nothing like the infant Claire felt she had just held. If it wasn’t for the angling in his jawline or the gentle smile that reminded her so very much of her uncle, Claire might never have guessed the grown man was once that small infant.

Well, sort of.

Following that day, Kal El established himself on a routinely basis in her life: one visit a month and a quick bi-weekly call. It felt methodical and always focused on subjects laced hesitation. As if Kal El were uncomfortable or unsure how to appropriately address the matter or perhaps her existence in general.

More often than not, Claire could hear or see in the background the encouraging - or teasing - remarks of Lois Lane.

It confused her, the way Lois spoke so casually to Kal El, especially when in the grace of others. Her parents had instilled in her an unwavering sense of propriety and Claire had spent many nights wondering if it was simply the unfortunate side effects of life on this planet.

Or rather, this planet’s effect on her species and other non-native species.

“Claire?”

It had all led into extensive research into curbing the effects on herself.

_“Yes, Kal El?”_

But that was another matter altogether and Claire needed to remain present, mindful of her surroundings and the conversations they held. Kal El always tried his best to involve her in discussion, perhaps as not to exclude her from the feeling of being with the “adults”. Or at least, that seemed to be how a fellow classmate had described it.

Honestly, Claire could care less. As kind as Kal El might be, his perchance to treat her with great caution and to stumble around Kryptonian historical data with the same grace as a newborn child was painful to say the least.

“Would you like to go for ice cream after?”

After referred to the current restaurant setting.

It seemed like a commemoration of sorts, dressed in finer wares, circumventing the more traditional take out for a sit down meal. Whether it was Kal El, Lois, Kara or Alex, somewhere someone had arranged for the five of them to spend an evening together.

_“From the place with the fascinating cones and assorted toppings?”_

Claire noted how Kal El always appeared uncomfortable with her use of Kryptonian in a public setting. It was as if her words were an allergian and its physical manifestation was to cause Kal El to squirm uncomfortably or scratch awkwardly at the back of his neck.

Kal El never responded in anything but English.

She had overheard him once, something to do with safety and blending in. But Kara and Alex had never expressed those same sentiments and had graciously never forced Claire to speak this planet’s native tongue - within the confines of their home or the open space of the masses.

“Of course.”

“We can max out on all the toppings again.”

Lois had an infectious enthusiasm and it brought a slight curl to the corner of her lips.

It wasn’t that Claire was unhappy but rather that she was bored. The restaurant, while Claire had enjoyed the finer tastes on Krypton, felt stifling and Claire felt odd and out of place. She had come to enjoy the nights wedged between Kara and Alex on a couch that was not quite meant to fit them.

It felt like the home Claire no longer had.

Claire turned, seeking the attention of Kara and Alex. Though Claire could still paint vividly the colour of her mother’s eyes and the dimples of her father’s cheeks, she understood they were gone. And in the place of such a loss, Claire had earned Kara and Alex.

At first it had felt grating, a mar against the Kryptonian pride, of Houses and classes and one day destined for elite roles. Claire was meant to be great, to stand tall alongside her parents, clothed in robes signifying prowess, power and prestige.

She was meant to lead nations.

To become of a child of Earth with all the idioms and bureaucracy, that made her incapable in almost every sense, was demoralizing. Infants on Krypton were treated with more wherewithal than most young adults on Earth. If it had been on Krypton and her parents had passed, Claire would have been deemed fit to stand trial to take the seat of her house, to lead the House of El to greatness.

Learning to yield to the council of Kara and Alex had been a humbling experience Claire would have never had to face, on Krypton.

_“Mothers’?”_

Claire ignored the way Kal El’s fork and knife scraped across the dinner plate. If her use of her native tongue threw him then her use of the word mother hurtled him through light years worth of space.

But again, Claire hardly cared, focused intently on the two women she had come to see as motherly figures who constantly rose to the new challenges to be deserving of such a title.

_“Kal El has made the suggestion of ice cream. I wish to go. May we?”_

Well perhaps not always Kara because when she released a sound of such excitement it made her ears ring and her vision cross. How they were ever the same was a concept all too lost of Claire.

_“Ice cream!”_

_* * *_

“Excuse me sir.”

Claire drew to a halt, impeded by a short plump woman with rosy cheeks and the most obnoxious voice. It reminded her of the many nights spent listening in on meetings of the Council.

“Yes?”

It was as if the title of each House brought with it an air of arrogance and superiority that bled through the many voices. It was neither good nor bad, it simply just was and until Claire had experienced an excursion to the outer edges of Krypton, to Houses of far less significance there was no other tone to compare it to.

Well, aside from the tone of her own and her dearest, beloved family, who set Claire with an understanding that they were just  _different_  and so she had never thought much more of it.

“You have a beautiful family. Normal. Not like all those misguided ones who just can’t be right out there.”

Claire took a moment to basket in the way Kal El’s facial features flushed and any pattern of speech withered on the proverbial vine. He looked like the gaping fish she had seen on a visit to the aquarium with Alex and Kara. Winn Scott might have also tagged along. His impression of the fish had been startlingly accurate and Claire had grown to like him a little more.

“I- she- we-”

But Kal El was pitiful, truly, and if the shaking of Lois’s head was any indication, Claire felt she agreed.

“While he might be of age, he is fortunately only a cousin. One I know far too well.”

Images of a much younger Kal El spewing bubbles of ill intention as he refused to dawn his ceremonial robes conjured in her mind. If he had been able to speak, Claire imagined he would have spouted off something about freedoms and rights to all and the robes being an age old recognition of oppression.

Kal El, no matter the shifts in time, would always be the tiny infant with a flare for defiance and an ability to squirm his way out of all forms of clothing.

“They are my parents.”

Claire motioned towards the table they had come from.

Alex and Kara had remained seated, Kara adamantly attempting to pocket a few snacks for the road while Alex was equally adamant that sticky toffee cake did not bode well midflight.

Apparently it was spoken from experience.

Sticky toffee cake would have been nice. But from the furrow in Alex’s brow and the pinch in her shoulders, Claire surmised ice cream would be ample and had not pushed the subject.

Kara on the other hand?

“Wh- Oh.”

The former boastfulness tilt and the high drawn shoulders deflated. This woman too could gape like the aquarium fish and Claire had to bite her tongue to still the very thought from flowing out. Alex had said it was not of sound mind to point out the flaws, miscalculations and inconsistencies of others. It echoed a similar sentiment her biological mother had shared on Krypton.

Not that Claire succeeded well at it, rather she was aware of it and mindful to it. Especially after the incident with the officer of the law and the crazed dog lady. Claire truly did not need a repeat of such an ordeal.

“I will admit, at first I was leary as well. One was far too in love with life and had an enthusiasm that felt disastrously contagious. The other was, well, too maternal to an unwanted intrusion in life.”

Claire imagined it was not the response the woman had originally intended. Her head swiveled from the table to Claire to Lois and Kal El then back all over again. It looked ridiculous and all Claire wanted was ice cream and not some woman making assumptions about an already sore subject in her life.

Not that she would have known.

“I will pass along your kind words once they are finished arguing over sticky toffee cake. As for my cousin, I am sure he and his bonded will be suitable parents in the unforeseen future.”

With tact, as Alex would say, and with a smile, Kara would add. Though if Claire was honest, if the upward curl of her lips looked anything like felt, it was a grimace at best and the tact was thinly veiled.

“Claire, your mother is such a dessert dictator!”

Rolling her eyes - fighting away the genuine upward curl to her lips - Claire wondered how her life had become such. An elderly woman with assumption, a Kal El as red as the House of El crest embroidered to his chest, a thoroughly amused Lois and a tutting Alex quite literally pushing her whining other self from the table.

Rao had the oddest sense of humour.

“Kara, we are going for ice cream, for crying out loud!”

And yet maybe it wasn’t and Rao had given Claire this new family for a very specific reason. Because somehow, they made her heart well and her cheeks hurt and they chased away the loneliness as the light illuminates the darkness.

Maybe Rao gave her this world - this life - to prepare her for the role in her own.

Whatever the reason might be Claire found it herself slipping in, metaphorically melting into the over the top nature of Kara and food or Alex and protecting.


End file.
